The spine of the matter...

You can't do it just for the scars on your body, the burns, ripping of sinew, the fractures in your bones, or god forbid the...disability pay. That's not virtue (never feigned), It's a search for identity in suffering.

                       "I hurt more than you hurt, so respect me!" 

     A lot of the military rolls around in the unoffical but inherited ethos of this idea, like a pigs in shit, showing everyone how much your experience sucked means you did more, or it meant more, or you're somehow more than someone else. A deliberate discerning wave of your 201 file, and a clean chop, like a meat cleaver seperating you, the glorious marbled filet, from your fat cap of "peers".

                 "Yeah I went back in class XXX-XX back when it was hard."

You can certainly revel in the fact that to get there, you took some scrapes along the way.  Laugh about it, stare at the wall of framed faces for a few seconds at Charlie Mike's, swill your bourbon glass and hold....3....2....1....

                          "hhhmph (slight smirk)....anyways that was a long time ago."

     A little elitism never hurt, you're exceptional, why not let people know. But "you dont have to be elite to be special. You have to simply be what most people are not..." To paraphrase Xray Alpha's Matt Pranka. He'll go on to explain that consistency, determination, and willingness to work when no one else will, would define such a trait. Agreed, smart man. I would offer that an alternate verse would include bravery, and a knowing, willingess to be hurt because it matters, because it is just, because deep down (you have to, and no one else will get it).

Did that strike a nerve? What did you picture? Waving goodbye to your 20 year old wife on green ramp for a 15 month tour in a 130 degree festering hellhole? Maybe picking up the radio at the end of your advanced life support ambulance shift at 12:01 hours on duty for an urgent dispatch. They just wouldn't get it...but you have to do it.

Bravery starts with choice, it's a muscle, you get used to the disconnected adrenaline head rush, the numbness in your fingers, the diaphoresis (grunts what means sweating). You begin to commit to choices when they have to be done when things like discipline, and purpose take over, you can bolster the need for pressing onward...onward into the cold...because you have to...(they wouldn't get it).

     For some that's getting up in front of the class, maybe addressing a concern with a coworker's behavior, asking someone to not take a facetime call while in line somewhere, telling the waitress "umm actually i ordered fries"

      ...or for others it's stepping off a UH-60 knowing you're not going to ever get back on it...but you have to, they wouldn't get it. You dont always get to choose the moments, or the reason you're in that decisive moment. And not all of them are a chance for bravery, sometimes you have to sit with knowing that when youre up to your nose in shit...you keep your mouth shut.  

     You learn over your lifetime what sets you apart when youre a "do-er", a high speed go getter, rife with potential, and dripping with oppurtunity? Maybe? Maybe it's just a single act in your whole existance that defines the person you are to thousands. Thousands who couldn't be like you, or maybe they will, with your example now. You could be wearing a suit screaming for people's rights in a theater, when everyone else sat hopeless, clueless, scared, and silent. Or you could be walking past the ER security, base police, and an entire chain of command with your hood on hoping they don't figure out you dont belong there, pray to god, just a few steps more and I'll be there, you can do this...just to deliver hope, and the message to the soul trapped behind enemy lines...you have to, (he'll get it). 

     When true virtue (never feigned) exists in a person their will overpowers logic, it can incorporate it, make the best tactical decision, after all youre special, others will look to you. Don't hide behind policy as a leader, if you also support the framework of the rulebook, say so. Say it with your chest, don't reliquish the locus of control to others not present, or worse a pile of Times New Roman in 12pt, APA 7th edition format. "It's not me, it's the policy" dont hate the player huh? (Embarrasing, and weak.)

...but understand this. At all times when you display courage and capability, boldly walking towards the things you have to do (they wouldn't understand) you can and will incur the hatred of others. People most often hate accoutnability, when it challenges the ego.

     Even those you call friend or leader. Secretly they hope to see you fail because if you do so, and they think of themsleves as better than/or above you, they will have to face the reailty that they indeed lack being "special", despite what their grandmother told them. They failed to realize their capability, or settle with the consequence because they haven't yet learned the cost of integrity (see my earlier post). Or in some rare cases lack the quality of character to let others eat at the table, because they DID achieve their greatest dream feat, with all of their might, and now we can't let others do it too...that would make such a thing...common! And what would a person be if working their hardest achieved a common feat? (Embarrasing)

     My point as that you NEED to find what drives you past the consequence. Is it death, is it shame, is it admitting you were wrong and having to grow? Is it doing the wrong thing according to someone else because they wouldn't get it, you have to, and knowing the outcome is more important than whatever happens to you. It is bigger than you. Pack your bags, move cross country, chase your dream with tactical and precise expertise, make a plan, drive the plan, but for fuck's sake dont be a coward. Exhibit true virtue, never feigned.